dreams and hopes for next year

I have a lot of hopes and dreams for my senior year. In the rustler, I hope to letter and maybe take the column. I think that would be fun for me. School in general, I hope to keep my grades up and decent. I have a lot of tough classes planned for me, but I have to take them seriously. I plan on doing tennis next year, and I hope to be on varsity. And I'm hoping I won't get senioritis. That would ruin the whole keeping grades up plan.
As for college, I'm going to apply to several places. Like Missouri, and Minnesota, Omaha, and maybe Lincoln. Then I just have to narrow things down.
I'm very excited for my last year, and hope it won't overwhelm me.

leaving and left

So I'm thinking a lot about all the people I've left and all the people that have left me. And now I am a ball of emotions (sort of). When my grandma died, that was leaving. But, she was in a lot of pain, I kinda left her before she left me. That sounds kinda mean, but I had to detach myself from her because it would have been too painful for me to pretend she'd get better. She only got worse.
One of my best friends left me, when it should have been me leaving him but I just couldn't. I always thought it'd be me the one leaving, since he was rarely a good friend to me. But I waited too long, and to my surprise he told me that we should stop being together. I thought that things would be easier, since at times being his friend was so hard. But I felt very empty and lonely. Just picking up my phone would remind me of him, since we'd always call each other when we were bored.
Whenever I think about him now, I only smile. He's a really funny guy and I always remember the predicaments we used to get in and the good times. I ran into him once at Village Pointe. He was with a girl, but I talked to him anyway. I really miss him.

34 days left of school

I anxiously count the days left of school (34 exactly). This summer I have a lot of plans. The very first week of summer, I'm going to Colorado for whitewater rafting with my cousins and family. I'm very excited for that because I love doing things out of the ordinary. I am also working at the waterpark, which is exciting because a lot of the people from last year are returning and I miss them. It's a pretty easy, fun job and we're like a waterpark admissions/concessions family.
A couple of friends and I are going to take a road trip this summer. We're taking the three and a half hour drive to beautiful Worlds of Fun in Kansas city. I know that this trip will be a blast since we all love rollercoasters. Hek, we might even go more than once. Maybe we'll make the trip once a week. Well, probably not that often but who knows.
Plus my family and I might go to Mexico since we have a time share. Or it might be California. We're still deciding.

natural disaster

things I would grab out of my house in 10 minutes before the natural disaster struck:
my clothes- I love just about every article of clothing I own, I could not leave them behind (especially my concert tees). I would stuff them all in the biggest bag I own.
my purse- which would contain my wallet, ipod, cell phone, candy, and digital camera
my cat- I'd miss him too much if he was gone.
my snuggie- it was a gift from Megan Robertson so of course it's special, and I can reach for the phone while staying completely warm like in the commercial

hurting feelings

People who's feelings are easily hurt are not fun to be around. It seems that any small thing sets them off, and they put a damper on everybodies day. I always try not to let things get to me, and hurt my feelings. I'm really good at reading people, and when I feel like I'm not wanted I feel hurt. Whenever I feel unwanted, I don't act like my feelings are hurt. I just try to get away from everybody so I'm not in the way. Since I'm a girl, hurt feelings are a big deal and common. I think we're around it more then guys are.
I never like to hurt other peoples feelings. When someone else thinks I ment to hurt them, I freak out. I never mean to hurt people, but sometimes words just come out. But I feel like most words can be taken back, especially in the heat of a moment.

childhood memory of the teeter-totter

I childhood memory I remember is how much I loved the teeter-totter...

One day in my childhood all my feelings for the teeter-totter changed, though. My friend and I were having the times of our lifes flying up in the air then dropping down and over again. Suddenly I had accidentally let go of the handle while flying up in the air. I soon fell backwards and punmented to the cold gravel. Immediantly the recess teachers ran over to the scene of the accident and helped me up. I was escorted to the nurse, where I got band-aids slapped on my knees and elbows.

You might think that I never used the teeter-totter again. But just a short week later, I got back onto it, making sure to hold onto the handle with as firm of a grip as I could muster.

saturday feb 28, my fake birthday

February 29th is my birthday. Technically, I'm four years old. This year I don't have my real birthday, but I celebrate anyways. Saturday to Sunday I have a hotel room at holiday inn express. I always try really hard to make fun birthday plans for all my friends and I, but everything always ends up going wrong. Three of my best friends are fighting. And they've all said the same thing: I don't want to go to your party if she's going to be there. It makes me so angry that they'd be doing this to me. First off, it's not about them... for once. I spent all my money on this hotel room just so I could get all my friends together and have fun... and they don't even want to come because all they are thinking of is themselves. I don't believe in revenge, but I'm thinking of what I should do for there birthdays. How about absolutely nothing? : )
Of course I'll probably end up doing something really nice for them anyways. I'm not one for revenge after all...

only 6 words

Lost from road, but finding sidewalk

love

I love my family. How could I not? In their own way, they're always supportive and there for me when I need them. My cousins and I are really close, too. I'd choose a day with them over my friends, just becasue I've known them my whole life and they could never disappoint me.
But I do love my friends. Without them my life would be pretty boring and lame.
And, yes, I've fallin in love with a boy before. At first I think they're perfect and everything is wonderful. But truthfully I had just played them up to be perfect, and really they aren't that great. And that's how things end.

My Performance

I feel like I've been doing very well this year. I am on the honor roll and I have a 3.7 GPA. My grandma was a teacher, and she was always very concerned about grades. Before she died I promised her I would letter in academics. I thought that that was achievable, because I know I will finish this year with good grades. But now I don't even know if I can keep my promise to her. Because, as I just found out, it takes two consecutive semisters of a 3.7 GPA to letter academically. So even if I finish this year with my GPA up, it won't matter. Since it has to be two semisters in a row.
This being true, I feel like I shouldn't even try anymore. I know that it will be impossible for me to be on honor roll my whole senior year. It will be just too hard, especially with my science and math classes.
I think I do well in journalism, though. I know I struggle with deadlines, but I'm doing great with these new deadlines. I already have rough rafts for my stories. It feels good to be ahead of the game.

a sad but interesting blog found

http://whatikilledtoday.blogspot.com/

I went to this blog called what I killed today. This guy works with a lot of injured wildlife and he talks about all the animals he couldn't save from day to day. Like a 12 year old cat with a tumor or a dwarfed hamster. If you read some of the entries, the way he writes it makes you feel really bad for the animals. I think even if you strongly hated animals, you'd still feel sad.
I read this one blog entry by this guy and thought it was interesting. He said that it's not unlikely for an animal to give up and die shortly after an owner has died. I wonder if my cat would feel bad enough to give up on life if I died... probably not.

be better grandma!

This sunday is the slipknot, but more importantly Coheed and Cambria, concert. All the plans are worked out. The ride to and from Iowa is ready. The tickets are ready. My friend and I have our punk outfits ready.
I've been looking forward to this for months! But there's one slight problem...
My grandma had another stroke.
She hasn't eaten in four days. She's in the hospital and she's not doing very well.
To my dismay, my dad had to take my car to Elwood to go be with his sister and brother. Since my brothers car died, he took my dads up to college. Which is why he had to take mine, because my mom wanted to keep her car in Fremont just in case we have to go up there.
And we are pretty sure we'll have to. It's just a matter of time.
I can't wait to go to the concert... but I might be attending a funeral instead.
Sometimes things just don't workout...

expert

I'm an expert at being a friend. I can never get mad at people, but when I do my anger doesn't last more than an hour. And I stink at yelling at people because I never know what to yell about. I like to be there for people and listen to them talk. And if they're feeling down I try my best to cheer them up with as much humor as I can muster. But I also know when to be serious. Especially when dealing with a friend with a broken heart. If a friend calls and says they need me I'll be in my car within seconds and be on my way... unless I'm at work or school or the shower or something along that lines. If a friend needs my opinion I'll happily give it. But I won't express it unless it's needed and/or wanted. Because sometimes a friend can guess what your opinion is and don't always want to hear it.
To me the most important thing about friendship is trust, laughter, and love!